Hope

Today has been an extremely sad day. I heard about some horrible news that affected a member of my family and have been very shaken up by it. I have not been able to pry my mind from the subject all day. I have shed enough tears to fill a bucket or two and am completely dry. Empathy. All I can feel is pure empathy for those who have been affected by what happened today. I thought maybe if I expressed my feelings I would be able to let it go long enough to study for my midterm tomorrow. I feel like my senses are acutely aware of everything around me since I heard the news. I notice each person sitting in the library, I am more in tune with how they might be feeling. I notice my eyes are dry and scratchy, I am hungry but don't feel like eating, I want so badly to be near Mike but also by myself for a while. Yet, amid all of these negative emotions, thoughts, feelings..I also feel hope. how? How in such a time as this? The gospel is a rock, my God is a rock. He holds me close when I feel like I am being ripped and torn in a storm and cant tell which way is up.

My brother sent me this quote today by Elder Holland which put things into perspective, "I have absolute certain knowledge, perfect knowledge, that God loves us. He is good, He is our Father, and He expects us to pray, and trust, and be believing, and not give up, and not panic, and not retreat, and not jump ship, when something doesn't seem to be going just right. We stay in, we keep working, we keep believing, keep trusting, following that same path and we will live to fall in His arms and feel His embrace and hear Him say, 'I told you that it'd be okay, I told you it would be all right.'

I have hope. Death is not the end. Christ can heel ALL wounds. We will be with our families forever. God is good. My heart goes out to my sweet cousin and her family at this time.