The Derrick Adventure: Friday Five

1. This past week my parents have been in Italy so my little brother (Kaden) has been staying with us. Will has been ecstatic having his best friend in the entire world living in the room right next to his. Each morning when he wakes up, Will runs to Kade's room and asks him to play. Every morning at 7am I give Kade a ride to dear ol Davis High School. And every morning I think to myself, "how does anyone make it out of that parking lot alive?" IT IS THE HUNGER GAMES PEOPLE! No kidding. I know I successfully did it myself for 3 years back in the day, but whew... Maybe I'm just more aware now that I'm older? or more protective because my little boy is in the back seat? Either way, visiting Davis each morning has given me some serious anxiety. Besides the obvious terrors of 90,000 tardy teenagers speeding to get a prime parking spot, I start to feel myself start to shrink as I approach the looming building. I get flashbacks from my time at Davis and almost feel myself morphing into high-school Megan again. Suddenly, I get self-conscious about what I'm wearing and become paranoid that people are staring at me. I feel myself start to put up a cold, guarded facade. Just before I become consumed by this dark cloud of insecurity, I remember... I am a 26 year old woman driving my little brother to school with my child in the back seat. YOU SURVIVED HIGH SCHOOL, Megan. You never have to go back. You are not the same person who walked those halls. You've been graduated from college longer than you ever spent in high school. oh yeah...crisis averted.

I've started noticing the kids walking into the school. I notice the "cool" kids, the "band" kids, the "troubled" kids. I notice the girls who have obviously worked really hard on their hair that day, and the ones who haven't. I notice those who seem to have a lot of friends and those who don't. And then, I noticed me. (okay not really me) but she could've been me. She looks exactly like I did in high school. And from the way she pulled at her clothes and nervously looked around I felt like I could see right into her soul. I wanted to run up and hug her. I wanted to say, "hey! I'm you from the future and guess what? You're going to make it. You are going to find out someday that you are smart, and confident, and beautiful just the way you are. Someday you won't care what other people think and you will find someone who loves you completely. Hang in there girlfriend. This is just one teeny tiny step in a grander journey. and you can smile more. that boy who seems too cool is actually just a normal guy. that girl who thinks appears to think she is 'all that' is probably pretty nice if you'd get to know her. all those kids in your classes are just that--kids. (to insert from Will's favorite book--they're Wemmicks just like you. who are you to give stars or dots?). For goodness sake girl, Smile more. Let yourself be happy. Be yourself. Be kind to those around you. LOOK OUT."

Do you ever wish you could travel back in time and tell your old self something you know now? I do. Every day when I drop Kaden off to school.

2. I've started going to the gym again. Praise the heavens! I haven't been in months, so it feels good to be back. Recently I've been thinking about how important self-improvement is for me psychologically. I just feel better when I am bettering myself and when I have a goal that I am constantly working towards. Speaking of which, I need to start taking voice and dance lessons again. Before having Will these were big parts of my life. I think it is hard sometimes for moms to take time for themselves. You are so wrapped up in this little person's life it's easy to forget you once had a life of your own...with your own needs and talents and interests. I'm going to try and develop these old talents again. Oftentimes I feel like I am too old. Sad right? Something about turning 26 has me totally wigged out. Upper 20's yo...it's a big deal. BUT I am still young and dang it...I'm going to take advantage of it! 👊 Weekly pep talk: over.

3. Last week we went to a Jazz game with the Derricks. It was the first of the season and was SO FUN! I generally like jazz games (because I'm married to Mike), but this one was even better with the new arena. Parking was a breeze with the passes, dinner in the new "cafeteria" (if you can even call it that) was so glamorous, and the game is awesome watching it with Will. He was just so pleased to be there. He asks almost every day if we can go to back to the basketball game. I love having a kiddo who is big enough to do fun things like this and actually enjoy it!

Chelsa also came over last Sunday for dinner and to make sugar cookies

4. Waiting. I've been thinking a lot about waiting lately. It is one of the first lifeskills we wanted to teach William... learning to wait. Patience is a virtue (or so they say) but boy, it's a tricky one. We do so much waiting in life you'd think we'd be experts by the time we became adults. But it is still hard sometimes. We often hear the phrase, "wait upon the Lord" Psalm 37:9; Isaiah 8:17; 2 Nephi 18:17) What what does that mean exactly? Waiting for Him to love us? Waiting for Him to listen to our prayers and grant our righteous desires? I think it means having hope and faith in Him and His timing. To pray the way the Savior did, "Thy will be done". It is a lot easier said than done, however, and sometimes we falter in our confidence that God will hear and grant our petitions. I think about as a mother the times I have asked William to wait. Sometimes it is to help him avoid a potential danger or pit-fall; sometimes it is because I have something far better for him than the thing he has his heart set on; and sometimes I ask him to wait simply because I am trying to help him develop the virtue of patience. As a parent, I can see how hard it is for him to wait even a few seconds. It seems like an eternity to him. I'm sure it is the same in the eyes of our loving Heavenly Father who occasionally asks his children to wait.

The hardest part about waiting for me is remembering to live while you're waiting. Enjoying the journey rather that racing or anticipating your next destination. Taking time to enjoy the journey--that's my new mantra.